My WHY 

What if I told you that my reason for getting into voice acting had NOTHING to do with becoming a household name or getting that amazing cartoon character, or becoming the brand voice of a gargantuan company? Well, it doesn’t. My why stems from something that’s much closer to my heart and soul–My son with autism. He’s my why. He’s why I press in and push forward when life is pushing in on him in ways he can’t process.  

 

Keeping My Authenticity in the Battle of Autism 

If you’ve ever listened to my commercial demo, his voice is featured with mine as we discuss the topic of autism. Every time I listen to it, I smile, and I’m reminded of the fact that he’s fighting a battle every single day of his life that only he and those like him understand. He runs his race inside himself, dealing with the complexities of this world and not really understanding or comprehending what it all means. Yet, he thrives. When people see him in public and he’s going through one of his “coping tick” moments, I often see people stare. I admit that I sometimes stare back at them until they experience how uncomfortable it is having someone just gape at you, as we patiently wait for our son to sort through the next thing he needs to do. 

  

Each New Season Brings Growth 

 Two years ago, my husband and I awoke to the scream of our son. This is something that used to happen on occasion when he would have a nightmare. We both sat up and waited. Either he would fall back asleep, or we would need to check on him. Then we heard our daughter scream. This is when we both took off for his room. On this rare occasion, I was ahead of my husband. As I reached the top of the stairs, our youngest was standing in shock and saying something to the effect of, “Something’s wrong with Matthew!” At this point, my husband was now past me. I gently advised our daughter to go downstairs and that it would be okay. Then I headed towards our son. The first words out of my husband’s mouth as he approached his bed shook me to my core. 

 

He’s Having a Seizure 

 “He’s having a seizure!” I still shake my head in disbelief as I recall that moment. His tongue was blue. His eyes were rolled so you only saw the white of them. He was convulsing. He was shaking and didn’t seem to be breathing. All I could do was stare for what seemed like an eternity. As my husband positioned himself under his body, I was able to recall certain steps to take. Before I could remind my husband not to put his finger in Matthew’s mouth, it was too late, and Matthew had bitten him. My husband just kept saying, “I’ve got you, buddy! Breathe for me!” Then I ran downstairs for my phone to call 911. 

 

 The 911 Operator Was My Lifeline that Night 

 Once I was able to find my phone, I dialed those dreaded three numbers. I kid you not when I tell you that the 911 Operator WAS MY LIFELINE that night. I knew I was in shock because I couldn’t remember a SINGLE phone number that I knew by heart. As she talked me through what to do, I heard a scream from Matthew’s room. I stopped walking up the steps. I told the operator that I was afraid to go up because I thought he was dead. She talked me through that moment as well. As I got closer to his room my husband shouted out to me that he was okay. Then I realized that I had stopped breathing until I heard his words. I can never forget that night, nor the seizure that followed a month later, but I am stronger for it, and so is our Matthew. 

 

I Hate Autism but I Love My Son 

Please hear me when I share with you that we fiercely love this young man of ours. I hate autism because it limits him, but I love him because he works out who he is so very beautifully. I marvel at him. I hope that when others stare, they marvel at him as well, because he’s the true star. At least, he always will be in my world. 

Hey friends, 

This week my heart wants to tackle something very personal. Which means I need to bring you in a little closer to my heart.  

This particular subject transfers across different topics, but the formula is the same for them all. For me, this entry involves my insecurity as a Voice Actor. 

I want you dear ones to be truly protective of your hearts in this industry. You need to have boundaries before absorbing information. Let me share a bit of what I mean…

Let me tell you something about myself.

I’m an extremely private person.

Some folks are comforted by laying all their stuff out for folks to read. That’s not how I roll… 

UNLESS I think it may be of some benefit to someone else which is why I’m sharing this with you today–I think it could be helpful for others who may feel insecurity in voiceover. 

 

Now, I have pretty good boundaries on social media, BUT every once in a while, I read a post that really hits me. It affects me more than I would have expected.  

Have you ever read a post (a looooonnnnggg one), where: 

• The person is disappointed about “something” 
• Then, to make themselves feel better about the disappointment, the “something” is torn down 
• Then they puff themselves up instead of just owning the disappointment? 
• Then you find yourself feeling less than because the “something” that was torn down is something you’re a part of and it’s that “thing” that made you feel like you were doing something right?  

No? Well, it’s happened to me. Lots of times since I decided to start my VO business.  

Here’s the easy short answer…LET. IT. GO.  

The longer I allow what another person says (or writes) to take up residence in a space that’s not for rent, the more that seed of doubt and insecurity is fed and grows into something that I never planted. 

To be fair, what another person posts or writes truly has nothing to do with me in the long run.  

We process in order to help ourselves and others (I hope) when they face similar circumstances.  

But once we are done processing, the important thing for me (and my readers) to remember is that your successes in YOUR journey matter. ALL. OF. THEM!  

If you achieve something that another doesn’t, don’t let it diminish your success. Don’t let their disappointment bring you down from your win. 

 

Do I get disappointed when something doesn’t go the way I thought or wanted it to? Uh, heck to the yeah!  

BUT…that’s not the end of my journey. It’s just a moment in it.  

Believe it or not, the so called

“negatives” are necessary for us to grow. Otherwise, we just acquire an “entitlement” mentality. Did you know there’s no growth in that type of thinking?  

Let me tell you a truth about myself. My identity is NOT in what I achieve as a VO. I am already content in my circumstances (Though, I want to continue to grow into a better individual).  

If I don’t win “that” award or get “that” booking, I may or may not be disappointed, but I can promise you it will not ruin my day.  

My voice (coupled with my skillset), is what sets me apart from others. It’s my signature, if you will. It’s me. It’s my credential for my work and why my clients hire me. That, and my work ethic… (wink!). 

Be careful how much of the negative you allow your heart and mind to absorb. Remember to distance yourself from the “time sucking” vortex of counterfeit social media, dear ones! 

Are you ready for this? Then grab your cup of joe and let’s go! 

Time for some straight talk. 

Sometimes I get up and I DO NOT want to talk…for ANYONE! 

“Nah, you don’t go through those seasons as a VO. You LOVE your work!”

Well, yes. Yes, I do.

Nevertheless, life reminds me that while I am a creative, and while I absolutely enjoy using my gifts and skillsets in my voiceover work, this VOPreneur has her seasons of difficulties and fatigue.

Perhaps this speaks into self-love (my last blog post), or perhaps I’m just feeling like I don’t want to work.  

So, what in the world do I do when everything in me just wants to shut down my studio and call it a day?

I change my vantage point on the mountain top, that’s what! What in the world am I talking about?! 

Well, have you ever looked up a mountain or steep hill from the bottom? It looks SOOOOOO daunting, doesn’t it? I want to quit before I even start!

All I can think about is how long the journey’s going to be. Am I right?! I’ve told my brain that it’s too difficult; It’s more than I can handle. 

This thought process will tire me out before I’ve even allowed myself to get a foothold on what I’m privileged to do.

This is when I give myself permission to “take 5.” In those 5 minutes of “self-talk”…

• I remind myself how blessed I am
• I think about all I’ve accomplished
• I meditate on the truths of how I’ve grown because I’ve dared to do things while I’m fully afraid…and succeeded.

Once my allotted time is complete, I reposition my vantage point (now I’m on top of the mountain looking down…in my mind), and I step into my booth with a different attitude. One of gratitude, thankfulness and joy. After all, I’m doing what I love! How many people have an opportunity to do that? 

Give yourself permission to have a moment of “stinkin’ thinkin’.” But remember to turn that frown upside down afterwards. 

Who knew that maintaining and growing a VO business could be so thought provoking!

Isn’t it just about having a really amazing voice and recording some stellar audio? Not. Even. Close. 

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING I do in my VO business involves relationships.

If you’re anything like me, your community involves three circles of people;

• Your closest peeps (or as I like to refer to them, my tribe)
• Next, those who aren’t as close
• And then, acquaintances. 

Naturally, the time that I spend with those close to me helps us to continually thrive together, right?

So how in the WORLD do I attain this with potential clients? Total strangers?! People who, outside of marketing, would typically be in the acquaintance circle.

Well, I don’t know about you, but I think one factor to consider is: I’m not a man. Men and women develop relationships differently.

I see so much marketing and client relationship work in the VO world that I cannot relate to and I think it’s simply because it is predominantly male.

There’s nothing wrong with it, it just doesn’t work for me.

Personally, I’m a heart person.

I honestly don’t have a lot of superficial relationships in my life. I hate small talk…go figure! LOL!!! I thrive on heart discussions and real life. I enjoy encouraging others and making them feel good about themselves. I especially like to belly laugh…real hard…with my people.

So sometimes marketing myself can feel superficial.

Now there’s two parts of this

1. Sometimes “superficial” is okay and
2. How can I make this whole “marketing thing” work for my style?

Sometimes “superficial” is okay

Relationships with potential clients may start off small, but they can still be impactful. It’s okay to start off less personal and more formal even if it makes me feel fake and cold.

Something that starts off as marketing may/will blossom into a genuine relationship the way that I like it

…or it may stay a distant business relationship which is just sometimes how it goes, too. (This isn’t holy matrimony after all…LOL!)

For example, on LinkedIn, I can start small, take my time and simply “follow” a potential client or business

AND THEN, once I know more about them, I can choose to send them a connection request once I’m comfortable. A little research is the same as sitting down with a potential new friend; you’re just eager to see how you’d mesh together.

(And by the way…It’s totally okay to pause so that when I’m ready to hit “send” I know for sure I’m not coming off like one of those annoying robocalls. I would prefer it to be more like testing the waters to see if we’d be good dance partners.)

How can I make this whole “marketing thing” work for my style?

I wanted to look for out-of-the-box organic ways of interacting with potential clients and really letting them get to know me. I think it’s great to get in the habit of regularly posting on social media, but I also wanted to give a real, genuine peek into my mind, work, and world. So… I made this blog! 

Every week (that’s the plan, anyway 😉) I’m going to sit down and reflect.

Most of it will center around voiceover, but as I said,

voiceover isn’t just about voiceover… it’s about relationships, connection, being grounded, and so much more.

So, yes, you may see entries about equipment and industry trends…

but you are more likely to see posts about people I’ve met who’ve made me see my work and the world differently, emotional reactions I’ve had to a piece of copy, or simply my reflections on how my voiceover journey is going. 

It’s been 7 years in the industry and I have learned so much about myself along the way. I can’t wait to share with you here on the Diary of a Voice Actor Blog. Welcome.